Irish funerals and wakes

Irish funerals are known for the wake, the warmth of neighbours and the speed with which everything happens. This guide explains the traditions in Ireland and Northern Ireland, how they work for Irish families in Britain, and how to bring someone home for burial. Irish Traveller customs are covered in our separate Gypsy and Traveller funerals guide.

Key points

• In Ireland and Northern Ireland, funerals often take place within two or three days.
• At a traditional wake, the person lies at home in an open coffin, neighbours call and the rosary is said.
• A removal to church, a funeral Mass, burial and a meal (often called the afters) follow.
• A month’s mind Mass is held about a month later.
• In Britain funerals take longer to arrange, but a wake at home is still possible.
• Many Irish-born people in Britain want to be buried at home in Ireland.
• Customs vary by county, parish, faith, generation and family.

What makes Irish funerals distinctive

An Irish funeral is a community event. News travels fast, through death notices online (RIP.ie is widely used), local radio and the parish, and people turn out in large numbers. Mourners queue to shake hands with the family, often saying “sorry for your trouble”. There is grief, but also stories, humour and hospitality.

Most traditions grew from Catholic practice, but many Church of Ireland, Presbyterian, Methodist and non-religious families share the same customs, such as the wake and the big turnout. See our Catholic funerals guide and Christian funerals guide.

The wake

Traditionally, the person is brought home and lies in an open coffin, sometimes with candles, rosary beads and holy pictures. Over a day or two:

• neighbours, friends and family call to pay their respects;
• the rosary is prayed, often led by a priest or family member;
• tea, sandwiches and home baking are shared, with plenty of storytelling;
• someone usually sits with the person through the night, so they are never left alone;
• a death notice may say “house private”, meaning the family would like no callers at the house, or only at certain times.

Many families now use a funeral home for reposing instead, with the home kept for close family.

Removal, funeral Mass and burial

The Catholic Order of Christian Funerals, used in England and Wales, includes a vigil with reception of the body at the church, which fits the Irish removal well. Music at Mass is usually sacred. Many parishes prefer popular songs, such as a family favourite, to be played at the vigil, graveside or afters instead, so check with the priest.

Timing in Ireland and across the UK

Irish families in Britain are sometimes surprised by the wait. It helps to explain to relatives at home that a longer gap is normal here.

Northern Ireland customs

Wakes at home are still common in many communities, especially, but not only, Catholic ones. Death notices often say when the house is private. In many areas, men walk behind the hearse and take turns carrying the coffin. Northern Ireland has only two crematoria, in Belfast and in Antrim and Newtownabbey, and burial remains the familiar choice for many families. See our what is a wake guide.

Burial or cremation?

Burial is the long tradition, often in a family grave. Cremation is increasingly chosen. The Catholic Church permits cremation, but asks that ashes are buried or placed in a sacred place, such as a cemetery, rather than scattered or kept at home. Many families bury ashes in the family plot.

The month’s mind and remembrance

• Month’s mind: a Mass about a month after the death, often followed by a meal.
• Anniversary Masses each year.
• Mass cards: sent to the family to say a Mass will be offered for the person.
• Cemetery Sundays: many Irish parishes bless the graves once a year, often in summer, and families travel home for them.

There is no special mourning dress for most families today. Dark, smart clothes are usual for the funeral.

Costs

Costs include the funeral director, a church offering, the grave or cremation fee, the afters, and transport if you bring someone home to Ireland. A wake at home may add the cost of embalming. In England and Wales, the Funeral Expenses Payment may help with a funeral in Ireland only in limited circumstances. GOV.UK lists funerals in the UK, the EEA or Switzerland as eligible, but for a funeral outside the UK the rules are narrower and usually depend on your own or your partner’s work or residence status, so check with the Bereavement Service before relying on it. In Northern Ireland it can cover a funeral in the Republic if the person normally lived in Northern Ireland. See help paying for a funeral.

Bringing someone home to Ireland

Your funeral director works with a funeral director in Ireland. From England or Wales they give notice to the coroner (Form 104) first, and you shouldn’t book travel until permission is given. From Northern Ireland, the coroner issues a certificate allowing the body to be moved. Travel is usually by road and ferry, or by air. Some families hold a Mass in Britain first, then a removal and funeral at home. See repatriation to Ireland and our repatriation guide.

Practical tips for Irish families in Britain

• Choose a funeral director who regularly arranges Irish funerals and transfers to Ireland.
• Speak to the parish priest early about a vigil, removal and Mass times.
• Book a longer crematorium or cemetery slot if you expect a big turnout.
• Post a death notice where people at home will see it, such as RIP.ie, as well as locally.
• Offer a livestream for older relatives who can’t travel.

Next steps

• Find Catholic funeral directors or funeral directors near you.
• Read how long after death is a funeral and condolence messages.