Knowing what someone wanted takes a huge weight off a grieving family. But where you write your funeral wishes matters, because the most obvious place — your will — is often the last document anyone opens. This guide explains the options and how to make sure your wishes are actually found in time.
Key points
- Funeral wishes aren’t legally binding in the UK. Your executors or next of kin decide, but most families follow the person’s wishes.
- A will is often read after the funeral, so don’t rely on it alone.
- Write your wishes down separately, tell your family and executor, and keep a copy with your will.
- A funeral plan pays for the funeral in advance; it’s regulated by the FCA.
Your options at a glance
| Option | Good for | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| A note of your wishes (e.g. our funeral wishes planner) | Detail: music, readings, burial or cremation, faith, flowers, where your ashes go | Only works if people know where it is |
| A letter of wishes kept with your will | Explaining personal wishes to your executors | Not legally binding |
| Your will | Appointing executors and guardians, leaving your estate | May not be read until after the funeral |
| A prepaid funeral plan | Paying in advance and fixing the funeral director’s part of the cost | Usually doesn’t cover every third-party fee or extra |
Why your will isn’t the best place on its own
Your will names the people who deal with your estate and decides who inherits. It’s also usually kept safely with a solicitor, at home in a drawer or in a will storage service — which means it may not be looked at until after the funeral has been booked. Funeral directions in a will aren’t legally binding either.
That’s why it’s worth writing your wishes down separately. A letter of wishes is an informal note you keep with your will; SwiftWill explains what a letter of wishes is, what to put in it and what must stay in the will itself. You can update a letter of wishes whenever you like without changing your will.
Making sure your wishes are found
- Write them down — our free funeral wishes planner prints or saves as a PDF.
- Tell your next of kin and executor where your wishes and your will are kept.
- Keep a copy with your will, and another with someone you trust.
- Mention your faith or cultural needs clearly — for example a Muslim burial within 24 hours, or a Hindu cremation with the family present. See our guides to funeral customs by faith.
- Review them after big life changes, just as you would your will.
If you don’t have a will yet
A will is the only way to make sure your estate goes to the people you choose and to appoint executors you trust. Without one, intestacy rules decide who inherits — and an unmarried partner inherits nothing automatically. In England and Wales you can make a will online, or use a solicitor if your affairs are complex. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own will rules, so use a local solicitor or will-writing service there.
Leaving a gift to charity
If you’d like people to give to a cause instead of sending flowers, say so in your wishes and name the charity. You can also leave a gift in your will — gifts to qualifying charities are normally free of Inheritance Tax. See donations in memory and gifts in wills for wording and how to choose a cause.
Paying for your funeral in advance
A prepaid funeral plan lets you choose and pay for your funeral now. Plans have been regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority since July 2022, so check the provider is authorised. Alternatively, some people set money aside in savings or over-50s life insurance — see funeral costs for what a funeral typically costs today.
Next steps
- Write your wishes with the funeral wishes planner
- Read about direct cremation and natural burial if you’d like something simple
- Considering donating your body to science? Register your consent in advance.
Frequently asked questions
Are funeral wishes in a will legally binding?
Should I put my funeral wishes in my will?
What is a letter of wishes?
Does a funeral plan record my wishes?
Can I choose not to have a funeral?
Sources
We check guides against official sources and update them when rules change. Editorial policy · Report an error
Cite this page: FuneralFinder (2026). “How to record your funeral wishes”. https://funeralfinder.org/uk/guides/funeral-wishes-and-your-will/ (updated 26 September 2026).